Home Improvement

Ceiling Fans: What Separates Us From Animals

If there is one thing I would recommend a person to do when buying their own home, it is to install ceiling fans in as many rooms as possible. (If you can make it happen in the John, yes, you should go ahead and do that too.) 

Comfort is what we all strive for in a living space. Every animal on the planet wants to be at their most relaxed in their living quarters. And why not, if I’m chilling with a zebra family, not trying to get eaten by lions, I should be comfortable. There should be cool air in my face. If I gotta die getting eaten by a pack of cheetahs, at least I'm feeling a nice breeze. 

Sorry Zebra, them’s the brakes. And there you have it, the ceiling fan is literally all that separates us humans from the common animal. There is no greater comfort in this world than the splash of moving air onto one’s person. Clothed or nude.

In ancient times fanning was reserved for royalty and those with exorbitant dollars. Now, even little old you can get that ceiling fan in your spot and be instantly fanned down with a flip of the switch .

You can go cheap with just a little forty dollar joint on sale at Lowe’s or Home Depot. You can get the foldable blades and look cool when you only want to be in chandelier mode. Or you can get real old school and get the big hanging blades, (the size palace servants would’ve used on the King or Queen) dangling from your ceiling cooling you or your guests while binging on Netflix. 

When moving from our starter to our (hopefully) forever house, (if it doesn't bankrupt us) the first thing I did was hit Homey Depot for ceiling fans and got them installed. Was it December in Northeast Ohio with a foot of snow on the ground? Yes. But I knew this day would come. Oh yes. The day when the brand new A/C we emptied out our pockets for would not be properly installed and it would be 95 degrees and balls sweat in the Cuyahoga River Valley that resembles the weather of Cambodia in the summer. Planning for every possible scenario can sometimes be misconstrued as paranoia. If this is true, paranoia is what I am shooting for in life. But in the mean time, I am going to call my friendly HVAC provider and flip on my ceiling fan.

- Frank